Marie Connelly is not a Guru.

I’ve been fortunate in my community management work at WEGO Health – I very rarely encounter trolls in our community.

A few recent Twitter chats have reminded me, however, that online communities are just one of many places that trolls set up shop.

During the ramp up to the #dearjohn campaign, Sady Doyle wrote up some fascinating ground rules for a social media campaign – lessons learned from her tireless work on #mooreandme. Her two major points? Stay on message, and don’t feed the trolls. (I have searched extensively in her tumblr archives for this post – damn, can that woman write! I can’t find a link though, so if you have on, let me know in the comments!)

Around the same time, Courney (@kirbybits) presented an astounding analysis of the blog comments she received after posting about her reasons for not attending PAX East this year. The data she presents is fascinating, and unbelievably disheartening.

At a recent industry Twitter chat, there was a lot of talk about trolls, and some speculation that users could potentially “hijack” the hashtag, causing embarrassment for the chat sponsor (@AstraZenecaUS) and preventing other players in highly regulated industries, like health-care, from trying “new” things.

While there were a few consumers who participated in that chat that clearly disagreed with AZ and seemed to have broader disagreements with pharma generally and direct-to-consumer advertising specifically, their messages didn’t seem to have a huge impact on the overall discussion.

After the chat had ended, however a few folks seemed to debate what exactly it meant to be a troll online, and whether these particular consumers who disagreed met the requirements. It got me thinking about what, exactly, those “requirements” might be. In a lot of ways, it’s like Justice Stewart’s definition of pornography – I know it when I see it.

But, having some objective guidelines are good too, right? After thinking it over a bit these past few weeks, I reached the following definition of troll-dom:

Trolls want nothing from you (or others in the community) beyond a reaction. They don’t want to compromise and nothing you say or do can win them over.

For me, the litmus test is to ask myself these two questions:

• What does this person want me to say?
• How do they want me to respond?

If the only answer I can imagine garnering a positive response is: “You’re absolutely right!” – I think it’s time to nip that conversation in the bud.  That’s the biggest indicator to me that someone (on or offline, actually) probably isn’t negotiating in good faith.

But, like I said, my experience with trolls has been (fortunately) limited – I’d love to hear from other bloggers, community managers and group leaders out there about how you define troll-ish behavior in your communities, and the most effective ways you’ve found to squash them!

One of the things I find most interesting about the field of community management is the wide range of backgrounds and experiences that people are bringing to the table in this role – there are a lot of different ways to prepare for a career in community management and social media, and I think it’s encouraging to see such a wide range of perspectives represented.

While most of what I learned about community management came from, well, being a community manager, there are a few things that really helped me out along the way.

In (roughly) chronological order:

Having lawyers for parents - few things prepare a person for making logical, persuasive arguments better than a lifetime of practice debating with lawyers.  It sounds a bit silly, but I’ve realized that everything I learned from years of trying to convince my parents to let me take the car, or extend my curfew, were the same skills I use now in working with community members and companies looking to get involved in social media – anticipating concerns, seeing multiple sides of a situation and proving yourself to be a trustworthy mediator are all important tools in the community manager’s kit.

Wearing an apron to work – Most community managers I’ve met have had some prior experience with customer service.  Mine was working “rush” at a college bookstore.  I had the apron, the nametag, and a whole slew of people angry at me personally for denying their requests to return books without receipts. Turns out, working in a customer service role is always an adventure – and that’s true whether you’re talking to people face to face, over the phone, via email, or on Twitter.

Studying English in college – Spending four years answering the question, “What are you going to do with that? Teach?” wasn’t a blast – but over the past three years, I’ve been consistently surprised by how relevant my degree has been to working as a community manager. On the most basic level, four years of writing essays is pretty good practice for finding an effective written communication style.  But one of the most important things I learned as an English major were the analytical skills necessary for close reading: identifying key themes and making connections between texts, authors, and different time periods.  As a community manager, I’m still reading closely, it’s just that now I’m looking for common themes and conversations about specific health topics, or for connections between different health communities.

Of course, there’s nothing like learning by doing, but it never hurts to have a good foundation to build on.

I’d love to hear from other community managers out there – what do you think best prepared you for this role?

The lovely folks over at the Metaverse Mod Squad beat me to the punch on the title of their recent post, “Listening and Hearing Aren’t the Same Thing“, but I wanted to go ahead and add a few thoughts of my own the matter, since it’s something I’ve been noodling on for the past couple of months.

I feel like the most common piece of advice given to companies looking to get involved in social media is “LISTEN FIRST!”

It’s obviously not bad advice, and there is a whole industry dedicated to supporting the growing need for social listening.  I think it’s important to stress, however, that listening is worthless if you’re not ready to hear.  Listening is great. It’s an extremely important first step to any social media program or initiative, but it’s an inherently passive activity.

Hearing, on the other hand, prepares you to take things to the next level.

Hearing means:

• Letting go of what you think you know. The online world is remarkably similar to the offline world, right? So, how much do you enjoy being stuck next to the guy at the party who thinks he knows everything you’re going to say? If you go in looking only for confirmation of your preconceived notions – that’s all you’ll get. You’ll miss out on an incredibly rich opportunity to learn new things and you’ll make it that much harder to create a genuine conversation online.  When you’re really hearing what your customers have to say, you’ll find new and surprising insights where you least expect them.
• Seeing yourself in context. Whatever product or service you offer, it’s only one part of your consumer’s world.  This is something I see every day in online health communities. Maybe a medication only treats one symptom of a multi-faceted disease. Maybe insurance only covers a certain number of pills a month. Whatever the context is (and it certainly doesn’t have to be related to health!) – be prepared to acknowledge it when you reach out to your customers.
• Showing your work. Unless you’re prepared to do something with all this information, the fact that you listened at all is of little benefit to you, or anyone you listened to. Let your customers and community members know that they’ve been heard by showing them the changes you’ve made. Likewise, be careful of the reverse – don’t ask for feedback if you’re not really prepared to hear it.

Truly hearing what your customers and community members have to say about you, across the social web, is the foundation for any strong social media program – so if you’re listening, make sure you’re really hearing too.

What else does hearing mean to you?

Long days in the office are sometimes just a part of life as a community manager, or any startup employee, really.

Are there times when that’s frustrating? Sure. I’ve missed an appointment or two, cancelled on friends at the last minute to meet that deadline – we’ve all been there.

Here are a few things that help me on the longer days:

• Diet Coke (too obvious?)
• Twitter breaks: It can be tough to resist getting sucked in, but sometimes a few tweets or replies is the perfect little energy boost to get me refocused.
• Solo-singalongs & dance parties: The funny thing about being able to see into other peoples’ offices is that they can see into yours.  But I generally don’t let that stop me from taking a little dance break when I just have to step away from my desk.
• Along the same lines, Pandora Teen Pop Station. For those nostalgic for the 90s, I cannot recommend this enough. Embrace the boy bands!
• Read, comment, start a conversation: If the project I’m working on has taken me “out” of the community for a little bit, sometimes I find the most inspiration in starting a new conversation or leaving a few comments on blogs or discussions I’ve seen, but haven’t had time to contribute to.  Engaging with community members is a sure-fire way to feel more energized.
• Take a break with coworkers: Sometimes the strongest bonds are built after-hours. I’m lucky to have so many coworkers that I also consider friends, so spending a little more time together is hardly a bad thing.  If you have the time to step away for dinner or even just a quick walk, odds are you’ll feel better (and be more productive) afterwards

What gets you through long days  as a community manager?